Whenever I hear this:

It seems like the hipster version of this:

Just saying.

Today’s post comes a from long-time friend and fervent reader, Danielle. She sent me this just as Poliça were making some noise at SXSW. Enjoy her guest post!

Looking for some sweet brain candy?

If Poliça was a cake, it’d be bass layers with vocal auto-tune butter creme icing, delivered by one drummer as a cakey smack in the face followed by the second drummer as the personal trainer who gets your diabetic ass up and moving.

I swear, listen to this and then try to resist looking them up.
(That’s not a challenge I want you to accept because you will miss out on some seriously great stuff.)

Consider Poliça as a trip through haunted gardens, with a dark yet ethereal tone. Tight drums and bass lay the foundation for simple lyrics artfully twisted with auto-tune. It takes a little getting used to since there’s no guitar, but once these tunes hook your brain you’ll find yourself wordlessly humming along despite yourself.

This is the soundtrack to: summer evening parties and power-bopping through workloads.

BONUS ROUND: I was pulled into this band by their lead track, “Lay Your Cards Out.” So good:

If you’re one of the 2.5 million people who haven’t seen this, allow the soundtrack to get you internationally funked.

Looping technology has made live amalgamations like this possible, but two things stick out to me most:

1. There’s a lot of thought and skill to put something like that together live and to remember what buttons to hit for each different section of the song.
2. The dude can sing. He also harmonizes well, but he can really sing. I checked out some of his other work (”Choices“)

You need some get up in your step? Grab some Norwegian funk. I’ll be picking up a copy to see how he treats an album’s worth of material.

Yes, you spent good money on a bachelor’s degree; but the people who lent it want it back – with interest.

It’s been months since I last posted, but I thought it was time I let you know why: I have finally claimed my place among the wealthiest humans on earth. But I am not writing to gloat; I am writing to incite you to join me.

Although blood-oath and international law prevent me from discussing how I amassed my dizzying sums, I want you to succeed, too. These are tough economic times to live in, but as my Aggro-crag of luscious cash attests, these are also times of great opportunity. Since I’m all-set now, I no longer need to clutch close my plans for financial success. I hope the following suggestions help you take your first steps toward solvency.

Harness the latent forces in the world around you.
Specifically, I’d suggest the homeless. Alone or in small groups, they remind one of the stark fragility of the life she has managed to construct. But if one were to literally harness them, millions could be saved annually in labor, transportation, and agriculture, disrupting the current infrastructure and, provided you patent the harnessing system, allowing you to corner the market on a new clean energy source. Remember: in the future, buildings resembling parking structures will dot every city, supplying them with fresh-grown local produce. Someone will need to plow, plant, and tend to those crops, and it’s not like the poor are busy.

Learn from the successful lives of others.
Start taking note of the lives of people wealthier than yourself. What did they do to get where they are now? What problems or opportunities did they foresee, and what characteristics and habits have they cultivated to reach the top of their field?

Once you know these ins-and-outs, pick your target. With the weeks you’ve spent on research, you can take advantage of them via blackmail, sycophancy, or straight-up kidnapping. Better still, integrate the previous suggestion into this one and use a homeless person as a go-between.

… but of course, if neither of these is to your liking, you can always …

Consign your body to a career in adult entertainment.

Yes, you spent good money on a bachelor’s degree; but the people who lent it want it back – with interest. You might just have to make ends meet by bumping uglies. For the English majors out there, here are some literary names to get you started on your career while making you feel like that degree was worth something:

Edna St. Vincent Milaid
Heinrich Heinie
Marianne More
George Sand
E.E. Cumming
Vagina Woolf
Charles Dickin

Now, I must be off. I’ve sent my brother my resignation via the intra-familial telegraph system, and I shall never address any of you unwashed troglodites again. It’s been a privilege.

The rock keeps coming.

I’ve been rocking these songs on my name brand choice of mp3 player (NBCoMP3P for those playing at home) for a few months now and I feel like I’m hiding them from important peoples like yourselves. No longer! The music must be spread to the peoples. This album came to me care of a cousin of mine. I tried to figure out our exact relation, I even looked at this chart, and then my head started to hurt. He previously played for Drivers Side Impact and then moved onto this project.

I picked this up because I wanted to support some family and hear what it sounded like. Drivers Side Impact never really made a dent in me (GET IT?), so I took a, “Let’s see what gives,” stance on Speak Easy.

This self-titled EP kicks off with “The Grey Matters” and this song has me hooked in the first 30 seconds with the waves of guitars as the two vocalists dole out some great back and forth; I’m digging this.

Except now I HAVE EXPECTATIONS. Damn it.

The good news is the rock keeps coming. “The Doctor Is In” picks up the pace and hits a little heavier before falling into a half-time chorus. Once again, some nice vocal play.

Now we move to the slow jam, “You Can’t Turn A Ho Into A Housewife.” While the title sounds facetious (like most of the other song titles) it digs in and takes a few tugs at your heart as they, “Send the boys of Brunswick a toast to better days.”

We pick the pace up with “We Beat The Bald Headed Champ” and Speak Easy keeps delivering. One thing I notice as I’m rocking along is that the production on these tracks is really nice. The vocals and instruments stand out where their supposed to and there’s a warmth to all the recordings.

We rock on through to the finish with “The Count Is Full (Strike 3)” and they finish off this EP washing out guitars with “You’ll never know, you’ll never know,” fading off into airwaves.

I’m delighted I picked this up, and you can too EP for everyone’s favorite price of free. It’s one of my favorite rock efforts that I’ve listened to for the last several months. Get yourself some here: speakeasynj.bandcamp.com and while you’re enjoying some free music, reward the artists and become a fan on the Facebooks.

I’m repping these guys hard because I really want to see them live and I’m having a hard time getting myself to New Jersey to accomplish this task. Let’s show them some regional love so they can make their way into tri-state southern New England. They deserve it.

This is the soundtrack to: kicking off your day, giving the day’s shenanigans the Heisman, and some head rocking to denote that your day is going better than the spectators around you.